Our nighttime rituals started as usual with a yummy bottle to fill her little Buddha belly and then jammie time. She was a "chatty cathy" so I placed her in her crib to talk to her flower friends while I put away her darling little clothes. All of the sudden the room was quiet, and our little lady had drifted into a deep sleep. I went to talk to Bradley who was on the computer and asked if I should leave her in her crib?! Was this the night that we were going to be "separated?" He grinned and thought we should...I don't think he had any faith in me. After nine months of being a belly touch away and then over 2 months of sleeping within an arms reach, I decided tonight would be the night.
I had moments of complete terror...she was going to bury her face in her mattress and suffocate, the mobile was going to fall on her and choke her, someone was going to slip through her window and steal her, she would get to cold, I wouldn't hear her cry through the monitor, she would wake up scared...yes all these emotions flooded over me. Bradley was my solid ground and reassured me that every one of those were simply not going to happen. I was even hesitant about turning off the light because with the flick of the switch it meant she really was sleeping in another room where I could not keep my watchful eye on her at all times. Eventually the light did go off, but the TV stayed on because mama had a hard time falling asleep. I checked on her numerous times, and even heard her daddy wake up in the wee hours and check on her.
At 5 a.m. as usual I was awaken by the cries of my little baby girl. We had survived the night!!! She took her bottle as usual and then drifted off to sleep for a few more hours. I placed her back in the crib and crawled back into bed. I was very proud of myself. This is a huge milestone for ME. I honestly thought she would be sleeping next to me until she was at least one.
Good Morning baby girl! She is a very happy baby, but I love her "fresh, good-morning" smiles the best.
More emotions continue to engulf me today as it is the year anniversary of my grandfather's death. Oh how I miss him...the garage talks, the Sunday lunches, the afternoon naps with an old, western movie playing in the background, the debates, the good talks. Veda has amazing grandparents, and I know she will create fond memories with them as well.
...I was of course his favorite grandchild ;)
Neil Diamond is added to our playlist...these bitter sweet songs remind me of him so much!
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